I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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