I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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