I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
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Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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