I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
