My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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