Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
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