I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize