i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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