your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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