My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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