I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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