what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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