Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
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I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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