Me. At least after what I've been through.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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