He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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