Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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