as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
