No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
