the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize