theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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