My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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