His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
