I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
