Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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