why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize