Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
