even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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