Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize