we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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