The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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