She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize