My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize