I just cut my nipple shaving
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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