He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
