I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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