If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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