I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
