i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
