After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
