Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
