you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
