i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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