OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
40s are totally the cure
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
