I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
