I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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