I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
