i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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