why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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