Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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