Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
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i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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