Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
