You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ttyl tear gas
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize