i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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