You know, be my cock's hype man.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
