His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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