hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
