Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
